Learn To Say No

We must be capable of expressing our feelings. They are never the same. Feelings differ after and before marriage. Mine was also changed because of Anuj.

He entered and rotated my life like a wheel. Sounds cheesy right. It is.:).

I Still remember the time when his biodata and picture was received. He was putting on a pink shirt, formal black pants and black shoes. With a big tummy.:) Frankly, the picture was not attractive.

Every woman has a man of her dreams. Harsha also fantasies a tall, dark and handsome guy. For me, a guy can be more attractive if they can dance and play the guitar.

A girl should be mentally prepared to get married. I was not ready yet.

Though my parents were ready to tie the knot. They didn’t even bother to ask their daughter. It made me feel as if I was a headache for them.

They had the convenience to check out biodata. His work summary seemed fine but his education was not completed. I tried taking advantage of it. Had tried to convince my parents about his education.

I Informed mom about it but she was not ready to hear me. She kept on saying “How does it matter”. You would have kids within a year or 2. Frankly speaking, I found it a waste of time to explain them. They did not want me to utter a word about him.

My parents were desperate to have a meeting with them. So, they made plans to meet. It was unfortunate because his parents were in town. As they had some personal work. Though it was my birthday I had to meet them. The party plans were already ruined. We met in a restaurant called “Sajangoth”. I wore a blue sari.

You should not judge a person on his skin tone. Though I was judged. We were informed about the spots on my face and hands. These words still offend me. I used to use a Samsung phone. I unlocked my phone and showed them an old picture of mine. I had to let them know the spots had occurred some months before.

Does showing a picture mean you are a desperate person?. I didn’t think so. They did think I was. Don’t know why?. I wanted to shout and say “no” but my parents did not allow it. Mom had clubbed my fist hard. Wish had gained the guts to say “no”.

Our parents decided to let the kids meet. Date and place were fixed. I had an exam the very next day but had to cancel that also. I have to travel all over from Kathmandu to Birgunj to meet the boy. I couldn’t sleep that night.

The morning was not so gloomy and warm. As we reached the destination. The destiny where my life was about to take a turn. Their plans were ready.

The plan was taken ahead and everyone met at a hotel called “Makalu”. We were the ones to reach first. First entered my father in law, followed by mother in law and at the end, there was the guy. It seemed we were in a battle zone. I was the prisoner and the rest was the battalion. Ready to shoot dead each other.

The conversation(shoot out)started. Snacks arrived then came out the words let the bride and groom meet. The guy seemed better than his picture. Face as innocence as a child has. His shirt was tucked and shoes were shining like glass.

We were taken to a dungeon. That we could have some conversation. Our mission had failed. I had no questions to ask. The words of not marrying him were still there in mind.

We were back to the pavilion with our parents. My destiny was with me. As I sat beside my mother in law. My mother-in-law didn’t seem so satisfied. She had pointed out my spots again. I was happy to hear that. As I thought she might cancel and say “NO”.

The war was over and we reached home. You know when we buy a dress. We take some time to decide. I was only given 15min to decide “Do I want to marry him?”.

That was when my life had taken an unexpected turn. As I said “YES”.As his mother’s reaction was still there in my head. I thought they would be saying “No”. The surprise was over and they also said “YES”.

Everyone was happy but I was never asked, “Are you happy”.

Do you want to marry him? Did you like him? .My sadness was invisible to everyone. Me being an emotional fool and my parents happy. I was not able to say to them “Please let me stay with you. I want to complete my studies?”.

We got married on November 18th 2013. People should be mentally and emotionally strong. They should be capable of saying “NO” either to your parents or friends.

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